天空

This morning Joe accidentally put McGee's food into his water bowl. So he had to eat his food out of water. Well, it took him a while but he did finish his breakfast, and came back to bed.

Well, when I woke up and walked to the kitchen, I saw that McGee was so mad that he had grabbed his food measurement cup and set it in front of his water bowl to tell Joe: "Screw you! Why don't you eat your food out of water!"  I couldn't stop laughing.

Forever 21!
Love myself, love people who love me, love this world.
That's my goal for this year.

Day 3 @ beach

One good friend of mine, Ning, once told me: "When your dream got lost, find the second one!" We have been friends for 7 years. She was my classmate when I was studying for my master degree, she was also my best friend in USA, and we even called each other "sisters" later on. We shared the same dream of being an English teacher. We both love teaching and hope one day we could become a successful teacher like our host-mother, Kathy, who we stayed with during the time of studying aboard.

Day 2 @ beach

Walking by the beach, looking at the ocean, and listening to the sound of ocean, I suddenly realized I was smiling. How long has it been since I smiled from my heart last time? I know I have always been blessed by respectful Buddha. Every time when I needed help, Buddha was always there watching me, listening to me, and leading me to the right direction. I just realized that I had forgotten to believe in Buddha. Everything that had happened to me is always for me to learn. I need to actually learn the lesson of my life, and then I get to move on. If I had ever wanted to skip or avoid it, Buddha knows, and she would make sure to rearrange the lesson again until I face it and deal with it.

Day 1 @ beach

It's time for me to grow up, wake up, and face my own problem. I'm a selfish woman. Just by thinking about this makes my chest hurts...... I have hurt so many people and friends. I always say I want to be a better person, but I am not. I am just a childish anti-grown-up woman! I make my parents, my brothers, my husband, friends, and lots of people worry about me! A mature woman should take full responsibility for her own life, and face all the consequence life might have brought to her. However, I did refuse to do that. Blaming on someone else is always easier than facing the truth. Truth hurts, and I am afraid of being hurt. "No pain, no gain" what a true fact which I need to lock that in my head!

Had a really bad day at work yesterday. But when I looked down, all the babies’ faces cured all my pain and wiped my tears off.  No matter how bad the situation is, kids are always so honestly and truly showing their love as long as they know you love them. I love all my babies, and what I get is their love back. I am a very very lucky person surrounded by so many loves.

 

Each day is a good day when I walk into the daycare center and see all those little faces smile at me. I know I will have another busy day, busy but full of true happiness. I love kids, and I am glad that all my kids love me. 

Life can never be perfect.

You may have a great meal but not a COACH purse.

I am tired of some poeple who always like to take advantage of others!!
I am tired of being used and being treated like an idiot!!
I am nice, I am thoughtful, I can sense other people's pain, I can understand difficult situation, does not mean that I can be taken advantage of!!!

yes, at least for me now......

sometimes I just can not think positive, and sometimes I rather just let me myself being depressed and cry out loud for a while.... feel my own pain and see my own sadness......

Dear Beth,

I am really upset now. I just want someone to talk to.

一大長串的英文日記寫給 Beth (Joe妹) 的, 有空又有興趣的再點進來看吧~~ 
由於太長一篇, 文法整個不想管了...... 請見諒....
 

Fanny,

    I just talked with Joe.  He is ready to leave  this afternoon for Cleveland.  It is another day closer until he is there with you.  He told me about your mom and you.  Honey, are you ok?   I worry about you. Is Joe coming over there going to make things more difficult for you?   Will your parents even  be willing to meet Joe?  I am so sorry you and Joe have to go through this difficult situation. Know I am thinking and praying for you.  I love you very much- you know that! 

I don't care
Don't bother me

Dear Mom & Dad,

How are you? There was a big thunder storm last week and it was very scary. I was woke by the thunder and felt very scared at home alone. Suddently, it reminded me three years ago at about this time, I was in Findlay alone and scared by the thunder. And then, all the memory came back to me.

I am very busy and very stressful now. I have a big final homework due tomorrow which is weighed 100 points, plus another assignment is weighed 40 points. Besides, I still have one discussion and one class video due tomorrow, too. I only have 1 day left. I hope I can finish it on time. 

The big homework (100 points) is very annoyed to me. It’s called "self analysis and action planning emotional intelligence." Basically, it’s not just about the single course that I am taking now. It’s a big combination of three related courses that I have taken in the past. It’s kind of course review. Professor listed 11 subjects that we learned in three courses, and we have to review the questionnaires that we have taken and analyze the result! (Luckly, I still keep all my questionnaires and course documents with me! And fortunately, I worked hard in the past.) 

Yesterday Joe and I went to Findlay. S invited us to have dinner with her because she said that she wanted to introduce her boyfriend to us. I was very surprised that she said her boyfriend came all the way from Taiwan to see her. (Because I remembered she said that they already broke up). I thought that maybe they make up agian and are going to Miami together! 

Well, everything is not true. S does not have a boyfrien. It’s a surprise party for my birthday.

My life is busy but ok. 

I talked to my professor last week, and he said that I don’t have to hand in my final project until the first week of August. So I feel a lot released! Because this month I have two online classes every week, that means two class video, two assignments and two online discussions every week. I was very frustrated if I also have to finish the final project at the same time. But since the professor told me that I have more time than I thought, plus he complimented that my English is very good and told me that I will be fine, I suddently feel better. I think I will focus on my online class now, and after I finish the class I will start my final project. I hope I can finish this research project before I am going to Miami. 

Dear Fanny,
 
What a nice e-mail!!! Thanks so much for thinking of me. One thing that I have to tell you - I have been thinking of you as the same way. SOmetimes I miss you and told myself it would be great if you were here. I miss going to see a movie with you. I miss talking to you too. I have learned a lot from you when we talked. You are very honest person and have taught me many things in many ways. I still remember the night that you came home from Joe’s and I asked you what you guys did. You shared it with me and answered all my curious questions. You taught me like a real sister. (that sometimes we, as a lady, has to be WILD!) ha haha! You have been in a part of my memory. It may seem like I never keep in touch but please know that there were so many times that I thought of you. There are so many things that you shared with me and always have been so kind too me. These days I have been busy. Last week I almost didn't see mom and Dad at all, just come home and say good night. DOn't write much e-mail as I used to at all. This e-mail probably is the longest one that I have written in last three months.

Fanny,
What a beautiful message!!!!!!!!  Your writing is wonderful!!!  Do you know how much your English has improved since you have come here???????  What beautiful thoughts and feelings in the message.  I am glad that you feel a part of our family.  We consider you are daughter and no matter where you live you will always be our daughter.  Fanny, we are always here if you need us.  Dad and I will protect you and help you forever--you are  our daughter.  I hope you will always feel safe and happy when you think of us.
 

I can only say, today is really a bad day...... 

I was trying to start my assignment this morning because it is due this Saturday. But it didn't go very well. The webpage continued disconnecting again and again. So I decided to send an E-mail to my professor, and he replied me with the school technology support center's answer: there is something wrong with the network system,and they couldn't fix it yet. That also means there is nothing the professor can do, and he is not going to change the due day. So I just have to find time to deal with it!!! 

Wendy (Joe's mom) was sick tonight.

I felt bad for her because she was in pain tonight, and she also has fever. Joe and I went over to her house to see her, and she didn't look too well. Therefore I decided to stay with her tonight so that if she need anything there would be someone she can call. 

Our refrigerator didn't work right today!!!Actually, it has been like this for several days, at least 3 days I believe.

Yesterday I wanted to drink milk, so I took the milk out. But when I open the milk, it didn't look good. It looks like yogurt! I knew the milk went bad, but I didn't think too much. Then I noticed that the temperauture setting of the refrigerator was too high, and I thought that may be the reason why the food went bad a few days ago. I started to clean the frig, and I threw away quite a lot of food. Then I went shopping and bought some more grocery and keep it in frig. 

I think I am not a good girlfriend. I don’t know how to handle my boyfriend’s emotion. When he was upset, I don’t know how to deal with it. Everytime I always made him feel worse, and we fighted. After one year dating, sometimes I felt very tired and don’t want to deal with it anymore. I just feel that men are difficult to understand and I always screw up everything. I tried to find the feeling back, but a lot of time I can not control myself that I want to fight with him. I think I just am not a good girlfriend and we don’t really match each other. That makes me upset and want to leave. I am not leaving yet, but sometimes I really feel we don’t have future.

I just finished the shower. I felt that I can not write anything. Usually I can write the paper better in the midnight, so I decided to take a nice shower.

This weekend Joe and I are going to have a small trip in Columbus! 

We canceled going to Sandusky today.
This morning I was very annoyed because there are too many things upset me.
1. My books and papers are wet.

I finished the research paper for yesterday. I was not very satisfied with that paper, because I think I can do better. But, anyway, I finished it and handed in yesterday. Now I only have one project left. The one that I was doing with Selina--I teach her English writing. We already finished all five lessons. Now I just have to wait for Wendy to give the grade for the last 3 essays and then I can analyze the result. My last presentation will be on 12/6, after that I will be totally free!! I think I just have to hang in there! 

About the single problem, I think in these couple months I am just so busy and stressful. Yesterday I went to have dinner with Mortimers, and I talked to Kathy a little bit. She thought I was just too busy and too tired so I feel stressful for the relationship. Well, maybe... I hope next month I can feel better!

Sometimes I feel like I want to be single. I never really be single after I went to college. It has been 7 years that I was always involved in relationship. Tonight I just feel so tired and don't want to deal with relationship anymore.  
I think, men, no matter in which country, are all the same. Hard to explain, but really feel tired.
Sometimes I wish I can be single for a while, maybe a month, or a couple weeks, to enjoy the freedom! Relationship is really a lot of work, especially I am that kind of person that I always care about other¡¦s feeling and I try to make him happy. But, I really wish one day I can just be a princess or a queen that I do not have to try to please a man but instead men have to take care of me for everything!

From: "Elizabeth" 
To: "fanny"
Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2006 12:45 AM