天空

I have been very down recently. Too many things happened almost at the same time, and too many “coincidences” happened, which made me wonder if all these incidents were just a joke from “fate.” I started to think that maybe it’s all because of me. There’s no reason for me to believe that I deserve a peaceful life since I seemed to be the reason for my own distress. I started feeling pity for myself, and I looked for all kinds of excuses to blame for. I was so negative and hateful, and nothing seemed to be right or at least reasonable to me, nothing, at all. I hate myself, and I hate my life. I was like a beast looking for any possibility to hurt people, including me. I wanted someone to pay for my misery, and I wanted them to experience my pain. I felt that life was so not fair, and I wanted my “justice.” I was like a spoiled brat who thought I was a very important person and I deserve people’s respect. I “empowered” the dark side of me took over my mind, and all I could think of was to revenge and to prove that I could be somebody. I started showing my dark side of personality, and I was so angry most of the time. It feels like nothing can go right at this moment, and I am so alone.

After several days of “conversation” with myself, I started feeling calm. I have read so many articles and I decided to accept what happened. When life throws me a curve ball, I may not be able to catch it right away, but at least I can face it and figure out a better way to deal with the situation.

I am very lucky that I have never needed to worry where I can get my next meal. I have always had someone who cares about me and loves me, even though I tended to ignore this fact when I was down.

I want to cheer myself up through this post, and remind myself how lucky I am. Everything happens for a reason, and I need to be patient. When it comes to the right time, I will see the answer.


Response 1:
Oh my goodness Rachel, honey we all battle with forgiveness when someone hurts us. Often times we feel like we want the other person to feel the pain that we are experiencing. When you forgive someone you are freeing yourself from the pain, grief and anger that is keeping you in that place of darkness. Just know that not everything is your fault. Even if something has happened that results from something you have done, afford yourself the same courtesy you give to others. Forgive yourself, life is a journey we are all on together. Sometimes we feel alone but as long as we have friends, family and a love for the person we are / the person we want to be we are never really alone. When you find a positive truth in any situation, there is growth and after those times of darkness there is healing. Be determined not defeated, I am proud of how you never stop finding the light after the darkness. We love you Rachel. You are a blessing and you are so blessed to have all of the love and support from friends and family. It is clear that you are special.

Response 2:
You are valuable and very much needed. Always remember that.

Response 3:
You are beautiful and brave. You are strong and intelligent. You are wonderful! Lots of love ❤️ and hugs!

Response 4:
You are one very lucky person Rachel! And very special also!!!

Response 5:
You are a very special lady and I hope you learn to see that in yourself. Love and miss you❤️